February is the month that couples celebrate love on Valentine’s Day. When that day is fast approaching many single women begin to think about their lack of a relationship. We find ourselves single for a variety of reasons and finding that special someone seems like a gargantuan task these days. Online dating. Nope. Bar scene. Nope. The gym. Nope. I must and do believe that as a Christian woman, waiting on the Lord is my only option. Could I find someone to date? Someone to marry? Absolutely! I am worth catching but I am not the fisherman. I have watched women over the years, because of their anxiety, find someone to marry and settle for less than they deserve. I don’t want that to be my story. I would rather be single. I do want the fairytale. The romantic pursuit. My friends may not realize this because I do not talk much about something that is very close to my heart. I am a romantic to the very core. When watching the movie, Pride and Prejudice, I love the scenes where Mr. Darcy only has eyes for Elizabeth Bennett. He is smitten with her. In a sea of a thousand faces, he sees no one else but her. He is mesmerized by her and yes, dare I say tortured by the thought of never being with her. I want that.
Now about Valentine’s Day. In whatever relationship category we find ourselves in, it is a day that can make many feel inadequate, empty or extremely lonely. I have known some women as the date approaches find someone, anyone to make sure they have a date so they could celebrate this holiday as a couple. Desperate but true.
Now about Valentine’s Day. In whatever relationship category we find ourselves in, it is a day that can make many feel inadequate, empty or extremely lonely. I have known some women as the date approaches find someone, anyone to make sure they have a date so they could celebrate this holiday as a couple. Desperate but true.
I have been single for a long time. A long, long time. If time is a measurement I am an expert at navigating this sentimental holiday. I have experienced a number of emotions on this particular day over the years. I have had a progression of expectations over the years. There are times I have felt lonely and left out. There are times I have felt forgotten. There were times I felt angry and depressed. I have always tried to trust the Lord to bring that right relationship at the right time. I would begin every January with great expectation. This is going to be the year that I actually celebrate this day with the love of my life. Then another Valentine's Day would come and go and still no romance. No flowers. No Candy. No date night. No Bae. Eventually I would just pretend that it was not taking place and ignore the holiday all together.
Over the years I have noticed something. As I began to value myself more, understand who God created me to be, the more I understood that I was not ordinary but extraordinary. The more I understood God plans for my life, the more I came to understand the nature of God and his goodness, the less effect being single on this day began to bother me. Trusting in God’s goodness is key. If I truly believed in His goodness then I believe Psalms 84:11:
“For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”
If God is good the bible says he gives me all things to enjoy. If God is good, He says, “trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding, seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take."
Let’s think about this. Ponder it. Is God good? Can God be trusted with the most intimate and personal part of my heart? The answer is a resounding YES! As God continued to teach me how much he valued me as his daughter, I understood that I can trust him to bring the right person to me at the right time. I also began to realize that even if that I did not get married I would still live a fulfilling life because my Father in heaven would see to it. He knows me better than I know myself. That is the truth. Sometimes I think I want something and God allows me to have it because I plead and beg. I then discover that I really did not want that thing after I receive it. God knows best. I began to learn THE lesson. TRUST. I did not want more emotions spent on a relationship that God never intended for me to have. A good father wants to protect his daughter from making mistakes and from giving any piece of that precious heart that should be reserved only for him until the appropriate time. “Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.”
I see so many of my beautiful sisters giving their hearts away to men who do not value them because they do not understand their worth. I know it can be hard to trust God with this and believe that He has the best intentions for us when it been years. There were times I heard the voice of the Lord say "no" but I chose to ignore that voice because I wanted my own will. It sounds so terrible to say let alone write. I know we have all done this in different areas of our lives. Eventually I realized this was emotions not well spent. It is exhausting to try to control your own life. I do not want to wait to enjoy my life someday when I am married. I am living now with or without a romantic relationship. This is not a message that being single is a higher calling although I am not saying it’s not if you have the grace for it. I am not being noble. I want to be married. However, it has to be His way not mine.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9
Now I can celebrate Valentine’s Day with a different perspective. I can see that I am surrounded by so many different kinds of love. My first love, Jesus. The love that never fails me. I have the love of my family and the love of my friends. Sometimes even the love of strangers. I am LOVED. YOU ARE LOVED. The greatest love relationship you will ever have is the love Jesus gives us. If you are reading this and you do not know that kind of love. I challenge you to ask him right now to show you what His love is. He will if you ask him. I pray Jesus will get ahold of your heart and you will begin the greatest journey of your life. 
Practically ladies I would challenge you to celebrate this day. If you find yourself single this Valentine’s day celebrate it. Don’t hide from it embrace it. Buy yourself some flowers. Have dinner with friends. Enjoy a movie. Do something for yourself. Pray and ask Jesus to show you how much He really loves you and I am sure He will.
If you are married or engaged remember some of your single friends. Surprise them with a card. A small gift. A latte. A phone call, email or text. Believe me it will truly bless them if you do.
There is no sadness for me on this day anymore because I recognized that I am surrounded by LOVE. I recognize I am LOVED. YOU are loved. I am valuable. YOU are valuable. I am worth waiting for and SO ARE YOU. I am not afraid to be single. I do not want to give pieces of my heart to people who do not deserve it. Who will not value it or respect it. My Father does. He always sees you as his little girl. Run to him with arms open wide to embrace all the love He has for you. He keeps my heart in perfect peace because my eyes are stayed upon him. He will keep you too!
“Love never fails.” I Corinthians 13:8
Happy Valentine's Day!
Keep flourishing!!!
Keep flourishing!!!
